With my kindergartener finishing school TOMORROW, plus a 2-year-old and 4-old-year old at home already, I’ve been gearing up for my summer at home with these three very active little people. With over two months all together at home, I want to have a good plan in place for our time together so that 1) it’s fun for the kids and me, and 2) we use our time intentionally. Are you hoping for the same?

To come up with a solid plan, I began by thinking through these three questions that this post will address:

• What challenges do you face this summer?
• What are your goals for the kids this summer?
• How will you execute your goals practically? (includes LOTS of practical summer ideas!)

If you’re in the same boat, maybe it will be helpful for you to think through these questions with me. I’ll share pictures of ideas I’m going to put into place, but just know that I’m no expert. I’ll blog again later in the summer and let you know how it’s going. And, I’d love for you to share any of your summer plan ideas with me and our readers in the comments section!

Below is the process I’ve gone through the past few weeks to make my summer at home with kids count. I feel like I should mention that I don’t intend to be a slave to my plan but instead to let it provide the structural bones for our summer. I’m always up for a last minute call from friends and a change of plans!

What challenges do you face this summer?

First, think through your own challenges in your home when all the kids are home. This will help you later as you narrow down and think through reasonable goals for your family. Here are some of my anticipated challenges with my crew this summer:

1- My kids are at multiple ages and stages, so finding activities that can work for everyone can prove difficult at times. For instance, it’s hard to play a board game with the older two while the toddler is awake. But, it’s hard to take the toddler on a walk in the stroller when I have the big kids walking alongside and complaining that their legs are tired. Certain field trips, like a museum, would be fun for the older two but a nightmare with a toddler along. Know what I mean?

2 – My kids are very active. They seem to always be touching each other, making one another cry, or destroying something if left to their own devices. I’m sure no one else’s kids are like this, right? If I don’t have a plan in place, they will quickly derail the morning with shenanigans…leaving mom a frazzled mess and multiple kids sitting in time out.

3 – I have housework that needs to be done throughout the week, as well as, some work for my part-time job. But, that means I will need time away from distractions (i.e. kids) periodically.

4 – I, myself, can get easily distracted from and/or just plain lazy in executing my goals for the day!

What are your goals for the kids this summer?

After you consider what challenges you’ll face over the summer, it’s time to think about some goals. When it comes to parenting, if we don’t have some goals in mind for our kids–whether long-term or short-term–it’s easy to spin our wheels. It’s easy to lose sight of what is important. It’s easy to waste the precious little time we have with these young souls in our charge. I’m speaking from a “guilty as charged” place myself! So, that’s why I think it’s important to think through some big or even small goals you have for your family this summer. Here’s the process I went through to arrive at my goals:

Ask Yourself Big Picture Questions

To decide on a few goals, start by asking yourself some of these questions about your end parenting goals for the summer.

• If you could see your children grow in one or two areas, what would it be? How can you help them grow in those areas? (This might be different for each child.)
• What is one or two routines you’d like your family to learn and master this summer? (For instance: reading the Bible, doing chores around the house, establishing reading time, etc.)
• What is a new experience or activity you could try this summer?
• What books would you like to read to your children this summer?

Narrow Down Your Goals

It’s important that you don’t have too many goals or else you’ll probably get discouraged and never follow through. I’ve also learned the hard way and have been wisely told by older mothers that it’s important not to over pack our days. We must leave time for teaching moments, times of discipline, sick kids, diaper blow-outs and the other inevitable but important “non-planned for” events of the day. So, having too many goals can lead to too many activities and not enough flexible time.

Make Measurable Goals

It’s also important that the goals you decide upon are concrete and measurable. See my examples below. You should be able to answer periodically throughout the summer or at the end of the summer whether or not you made progress toward your goal. To give you some examples, here are the goals I have for my kids this summer.

Example: Summer Goals at Home for My Kids

In addition to the simple goal of ENJOYING THEIR TIME AT HOME!!, my goals for my kids this summer are that they would:

• Start to make reading the Bible a regular routine. We will do this by completing the Summer Bible Reading plan from our church 3x per week.
• Grow in their responsibilities around the house. The older two kids will each have at least one age-appropriate chore to complete each weekday morning before we do our fun activity for the day.
• Make reading more of a priority. In addition to our bedtime reading, we will build in a 30 minute reading time each afternoon where either I will read aloud or they will read to themselves.
• Be exposed to new learning experiences each week. We will designate one morning a week for a local field trip. I have also purchased work books at garage sales that the kids can use at home sometimes to challenge their brains a bit while away from school!

How will you execute your summer goals? (LOTS of practical ideas here!)

So after you come up your goals and have your challenges/limitations in mind, think through some a system, resources, and/or basic supplies that will help you stay on target. Here’s what I’ve planned to put into place and have bought so far:

Tentative Weekly Schedule

I want our weeks to have a natural routine and flow for the most part, because I know this helps my kids have expectations for each day. This also helps me have a simple idea of what we’re doing each day ahead of time and stay motivated.  Here’s a photo of our simple “big picture” week day schedule:

Daily Fridge Schedule

Nerd alert, but I’m super excited about this magnetic fridge schedule I made this week! This schedule will change daily, based on that day’s events, and give the kids and me direction for the day.

To make this, I tried to think of the activities and main events that will usually be included in our summer daily routine. I think I made about 20 or so. First, cut out strips of poster board and write out each your activities on each strip. I added a picture (pay no attention to my sad attempts at drawing) to each one so the non-readers could understand the flow of the day as well as the readers. Lastly, add small magnet pieces with adhesive on the back to each one, so you can change the schedule up each day.

Chore Wheel

I haven’t gotten to this project yet, so I may do a post about it later when it’s complete. But, I’m going to put together a Chore Wheel that will indicate what chore each kid (and me, too!) will be responsible for each day. My goal is to complete these before leaving for any fun adventures!

This age-appropriate chore list from The Happy Housewife is a great resource, if you’re wanting to institute chores this summer.

Ideas for Local Field Trips

Like I mentioned above, I want to take one learning-type field trip a week. So, my friend, Kelley and I brainstormed some local friend trip ideas. Here’s what we came up with to try but more ideas from you are welcomed!

Summer Reading List

I stocked up on some books for the summer and beyond. We’ll also make trips to the library periodically to get picture books, as well. Below are the chapter books I just bought through Scholastic Books and/or at garage sales. Also, here are some recommendations for The Best Children’s Bibles and our Top 10 Toddler books.

Stuart Little – We loved Charlotte’s Web as a read aloud, so I can’t wait to tackle this one with the kids.

The Boxcar Children Books 1-4 – My 4 and 6-year-olds are obsessed with these books right now!

Little House on the Prairie series – We read Little House in the Big Woods last year a little at a time and we all learned a lot. I think we’ll do the same with Little House on the Prairie next.

Pippi Longstocking – I remember this being a fun read as a kid and thought my daughter might enjoy it.

Check out our store for more children’s books, learning toys, and music ideas.

Art and Other Misc Summer Supplies

I restocked our art box and toy closet with new and fun supplies. Here are some ideas to stock yours with:

• construction paper
• good quality markers
• stickers
• stamps and ink pads
• pipe cleaners (my kids come up with all kinds of creations with these)
• embroidery thread (for making bracelets)
• beads (for making necklaces and bracelets)
• Do A Dot Paints
• water color paints and brushes
• sidewalk chalk
• bubbles
• journals (for writing stories or as a nature notebook on walks)
• age-appropriate learning workbooks (I found cheap ones at Aldi, garage sales, and the dollar store)
• an egg timer (for timing Clean-Up Time, Reading Time, Room Time, and time-outs)

Summer Boredom Busters

Now, if your plan for the day fails at some point and you’re scrounging for an idea, you might try one of these 10 Summer Boredom Busters. They are my fall-back activities.

There you have it. No one can say I didn’t have a plan in place. Now the question is…can I pull it off? To be continued…

Now, I personally know many of the amazing moms who read this blog and I’m confident there are many more whom I don’t know. And, I really do want to know…WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR KIDS THIS SUMMER??? Please share.

Note: This post contains some Amazon affiliate links. Here is our full disclosure. When you purchase through any of these links, you are helping support Thriving Home so thank you!

Yes, I have a newborn and toddler. And yes, I somehow found time to do this little spray paint project.

The thing is, I love to create. I love to see the potential in ordinary junk and redeem its value. So why the heck I am doing crafty projects in the midst of the fog of sleep deprivation and keeping a toddler busy? Because it refreshes me and keeps me feeling like myself.

In this season of life, I keep the projects simple. Spray painting is one of my favorite makeover techniques because it’s cheap and easy.

This little elephant is special to me. It was actually my mom’s as a kid. You can’t tell by the pictures but it has a bobble head that my toddler is obsessed with. This little guy is a piggy bank and was about to be sold in my grandpa’s estate sale before I snatched it up. As you can see, he’s seen better days.

After wiping him down real well, I just gave him a few coats of this blue spray paint.

After letting him dry, here is how he turned out!

I think he’s stinkin’ adorable. I also love that he has some sentimental meaning. He found a home in my son’s room above his changing table.

 I think he likes his new home. Better than the musty garage he’s been sitting in for 40+ years!

On an unrelated note, here’s a recent picture of my little man. This proud mama can’t  help but share pictures.

This spring, I received a very special gift from my parents who were moving–FIVE BLUEBERRY BUSHES from their backyard! These bushes are about three years old, so they are already producing quite a few blueberries each year but still have some growing to do. After doing some major research about how to transplant blueberries, my husband and I got to work. And, I’m happy to report that our blueberry bushes are currently thriving now seven weeks later. They are well on their way to producing a lot of blueberries! You can see the results after about a month and half in our backyard at the bottom of this post.

Thinking about putting in some blueberry bushes at some point? Or, do you have some that need to be moved this fall? Here is a step-by-step tutorial of how to transplant blueberries, based on my research and experience. Pin this one for later!

 How to Transplant Blueberries

1 -Decide on Your Transplant Location

Ideally, you want to transplant your blueberries when the bush is dormant (so after the first frost would be a good time). Find a location to transplant your blueberries that provides plenty of sunshine. Make sure each plant will have ideally 3 feet on either side. (We had to plant ours a little closer than that due to lack of space. My mom’s were closer than 3 feet and produced just fine, too.) Blueberries produce the best crop in soils high in organic matter and with good drainage, as well as soil that is acidic (a pH balance around 5.0). I will later discuss ways that you can help enhance your soil naturally in almost any location.

2 – Gather and Purchase Supplies

Here’s what you’ll need…

• gardening gloves
• a shovel
• a hand spade
• top soil – I found that I needed a little less than 1 small bag per blueberry bush, when mixed with the peat moss below.
• peat moss – Buy enough to mix in with the top soil so there is about a 50/50 mix of each to surround each blueberry bush. This will help keep the soil loose.
• a wheel barrow – This is helpful when mixing the soil and peat moss or moving the blueberry bushes to the new location.
• Blood Meal – plant food
• pine mulch or pine needles – Either of these will help create an acidic soil environment for your blueberries, which they love.

2 – Dig Up the Bushes from Original Site

Wait until your plants are dormant (tops are dry and brittle), usually after the first frost of the year. When digging up the blueberry bushes from their original location, be sure to dig far enough around and down to keep as many roots in tact as possible. I stored mine in trash bags and buckets for about five days in cool weather on my back porch until we were ready to plant them. I made sure they stayed moist during that time, and they did fine. But, ideally you want to move them to the new location as soon as possible.

3 – Dig a Hole in New Location

If you are planting more than one blueberry bush, plan out where you want each bush. I set each of mine on top of the soil in their buckets/trash bags to see which order I wanted them in and to eyeball how big of a hole I would need. Dig about 10-15 inches deep, depending on how big your roots are for each plant.

4 – Place Your Plant in the Hole

Fill in the bottom of your hole with the top soil/peat moss mixture. (I did this to make sure there was nutrient-dense, loose soil below my plants as well as on all sides.) Set your plant in and see if the stem reaches ground level. If not, add more of the soil mixture. Remember, the soil will settle a little bit so add a bit more than you think is needed.

5 – Fill In

Once you have your plant at the right height in the hole, fill in around the plant with additional soil until filled. Sprinkle some of the blood meal around plant as plant food. In addition, the smell helps keep the rabbits and deer away. If you plant them near your house, like we did, make sure the grade of the slope is away from your house.

6 – Add the Pine Mulch

Add pine mulch or pine needles around your blueberries. This will help to add acidity to the soil, which is the ideal soil condition for blueberry plants.

7 – Water

Water your new plants and you’re done for the day! Continue to water the bush(es) until the ground freezes every 2 or 3 days.

Another tip: Add vinegar, coffee, and/or coffee grounds to your water to add even more acidity to the soil. I have been doing this every time I water my plants for the past few weeks and they love it!

I have a few different varieties here in my little mulch bed. The ones on the end are fuller, but the middle ones still have plenty of berries forming, as well. I think another year of good soil, sunshine and TLC and they will be back to fighting condition (fingers crossed!).

See my little blueberries forming? My kids can’t wait to get their little paws on them!

I hope my research and tips assist you well with how to transplant blueberries!

Top picture credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

My name is Liz. I’m the wife to Jon, the mommy to Charlotte (5), Riley (3), and the soon-to be the mommy to Juliet (5 months). We moved to Seattle about 5 months ago and are adjusting to our new life in the Northwest. We’ve been in process for three years now and have just recently found out we will be adopting Juliet from Ethiopia.

As we continue to wait for our new little girl, I want to share a bit of our story, some of the lessons we’ve learned through this long process and then answer some common questions we commonly get about adoption.

Anxiety is to be Expected

I’ve always wanted to adopt. Once Jon and I were married, we talked about it twice before pursuing it officially. Once we applied to our agency (AWAA), I had serious anxiety. I’m pretty sure I gave myself an ulcer. No exaggeration. I was sick for a week. The first few times I announced we were adopting to groups of people I was shaking and terrified. I began to think that this wasn’t “peace from God” so it probably was the wrong decision.

Then I went to church and our pastor gave a sermon on modern day persecution of the church. Back in the day it was by stoning or putting people in chains. Obviously this happens in some parts of the world still but not here.  Now Satan persecutes the church by fear and causing us to not act. I began reading blogs of wise women that shared the amount of spiritual warfare they encountered surrounding their adoption. I figured out three things.

1) Adopting a child into our family was going to give them an opportunity to know about Jesus, which most likely wouldn’t happen if they were not adopted.

2) I have a big mouth and I tend to share my opinion more then it’s asked for. If I became passionate about adoption I would probably share it with others.

3) The things God usually calls us to are not easy or comfortable…even though that’s what we would like sometimes.

It’s Out of Your Comfort Zone But That is a Good Thing

Being out of your comfort zone is never super fun, but sometimes it is good. At the time we decided to adopt we were living in the Midwest, my husband had a safe job, we had two cute girls, my family was five minutes away, my best friend lived next door, we had a church that we were very involved in, and I had a strong community.  As of five months ago, we live in Seattle, 2000 miles from family. We are having to establish new friendships, find a new church, and we are about to bring home a child from halfway around the world as our own.

Leaving our hometown seems crazy at times, but I am a believer that The Lord calls us to do things that seems a little crazy at times. Someone used the term “reckless obedience” at an adoption conference I went to, and I love that term. It’s not reckless in the sense that it’s thoughtless. But reckless in a way that forgoes all the things the world tells us that we need.  It’s a seeking after God’s heart so much that you are willing to obey at any cost. I wonder how many times we miss something wonderful that God has for us because of fear.  We love comfort and safety, which aren’t bad things in and of themselves. But I feel that the church and God’s people have gotten so comfortable in America that we idolize security. I know I struggle with that very idol myself.

One thing that is pretty common in the adoption community is big ol’ families filled with children of all different shades of browns, from fair to dark. There seems to be something addicting and contagious about adoption. Do you know what I think frees those families from the idol of comfort and security? I think it’s the gospel. Adoption is the gospel. Here’s what I mean. God takes us as we are–dirty, lost, alone, sick with sin–and he accepts us in his family. He makes us heirs in his family and loves us like his very own child. That’s crazy!

Adoption is Costly

Adoption is costly friends. I love this quote by Derek Loux, “My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.” It’s not just a financial cost. It’s giving up your dream of what your family would look like. It’s choosing something that is unconventional and will need explanation at the park, at school, and in the line at Target. It’s choosing a child with a broken past and helping them heal. And it’s dying to yourself daily to meet the needs of yet another child.

I do not pretend to have it all figured out.  I surrendered to the Lord on this issue, but I still struggle with it. And my little one isn’t even home yet. Like I said before, I realize not everyone is called to adopt but as Christians we are called to care for orphans in one way or another.

I encourage you to 1) prayerfully consider adoption. If this is not something that God has put on your heart then 2) strongly consider supporting and coming along side someone who is in the process of adoption. Either one won’t be easy.  You won’t know the right answers to all the million of decisions that you have to make. You’ll feel scared and overwhelmed and like you can never afford it. But I pray you will do a little research and talk to a friend that has adopted. And, if you don’t know anyone you can contact me. Just email Polly and Rachel here and they will put you in touch with me.

Adoption is a Response to What We’ve Been Given

We chose adoption not because we are good people or want to save a child. We chose to adopt because of what we have been given. We are blessed in America with resources, a home, food, education, and healthcare. And we are blessed as Christians to have a heavenly father that laid down his life for us so we can be heirs in his family. That is why we are adopting. We are hoping to share the love that was given to us first. So, don’t be surprised when we adopt again and then probably again. Because seeing the gospel lived out is contagious. And we are infected.

Frequently Asked Questions

We’ve gotten a lot of questions about the adoption process over the last three years. Here are the most common ones:

Why Ethiopia/international adoption?

Good question. The answer is, I’m not sure exactly. The thing with adoption as is the case with many things in life, there is not always a clear cut right or wrong choice. We chose the quickest, most affordable, and greatest need option at the time. Things changed and that isn’t the case anymore; but it’s where we chose,  so we are sticking it out.

Why does it take so long, and why is it so expensive?

The answer is, I’m not sure exactly. Are you seeing a trend here? Adoption is a result of brokenness. I truly believe that God didn’t intend children to be born into sickness, poverty, and being unwanted. It’s a result of sin entering the world, so clearly it’s not going to be a perfect process. It’s a very official process and with international adoption you have to jump through hoops from two different governments. Due to the number of people that have to touch the paperwork and make it official, as well as the expenses of travel and medical needs, it just costs a lot. If you choose an ethical agency, there is no one person “making bank” with your money. Is there a need? Absolutely.  Is it worth it? Definitely. Is it easy? No freaking way.

Are you crazy? Can you handle this?

TBD, seriously

You know those kids have issues sometimes or are sick. Why don’t you just have your own?

Yes, I do know this. Thanks for the reminder. My biological kids have issues, as do my hubs and I, and we will work though them together. Bonding issues are a real concern with adoption, as well as the healing of some deep wounds will have to take place.  But, God is a God of redemption and we choose to follow him and cling to his promises.

*Just a heads up – call them biological kids not “your own” kids or “natural kids”. This makes the adopted children sound unnatural or like they are not our own. Believe me, this little girl was prayed for and planned for for years longer and by hundreds more people than my beloved bio kids. She IS ours. This is a hot spot for adoptive fams.

How can I help someone who is in the process of adoption?

Friends that are adopting can most likely use support in may areas. One that is obvious is financially. That doesn’t mean you have to just write them a check. Often adopting families are selling items such as t-shirts and coffee. They may be having garage sales and pancake breakfasts as well. Helping them organize these events or just showing up to say hi is so much appreciated. Of course donating money or items for them to sell at these events is extremely helpful and an amazing blessing.

Another thing that can be helpful is emotional support. The process is long and often emotional. The family will be asked daily, “anything new happening with your adoption?”  Although this is very well intentioned, it is hard to hear over and over when the wait is three years and quite frankly there is nothing new to share.  Believe me, if there is new news to share, the family will shout it from the rooftops. So, instead ask, “What can I do to support you during your wait?” Or just simply write a note or email that shares your thoughts and excitement for them in their journey.

What agencies do you recommend?

This is a hard one. This varies depending the type of adoption (International vs Domestic). We are using America World Adoption Association. We feel like they are very ethical and Christ-centered; we would use them again for sure. A few others we have heard that are good are Bethany, Holt, and YWAM. My best advice here is to find what type of adoption is best for your family, and then ask around. The adoption community is like a village of people wanting to help. Seriously, I didn’t realize this community existed until we started the process. They are amazing. Ask questions to other adoptive families and then research the agency. That’s what we did.

Thanks so much for sharing your story and advice, Liz!

Dinners:

Sunday:  Broiled Parmesan Tilapia, corn on the cob, Roasted Asparagus, apple slices

Monday: Meatball Subs, green salad, kiwi fruit

Tuesday: leftovers

Wednesday: Breakfast for Dinner: Sweet Potato French Toast, bacon, Green Smoothie

Thursday: Whole wheat spaghetti with marinara, green beans, fruit salad

Friday: Szechuan Steak Stir-Fry, brown rice, green salad, pineapple

Saturday: Burrito Bowl (seasoned black beans, cheese, salsa, lettuce, etc served over seasoned brown rice), Guacamole and chips, mango

Lunch Ideas:

leftovers

mini pizzas using whole wheat tortillas (bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes)

tuna salad sandwiches

Breakfast Ideas:

5 Minute Chocolate Oatmeal

plain yogurt with blueberries, bananas, and ground flaxseed

Starbucks Fake-Out Breakfast Sandwiches

Snacks:

trail mix (raisins, nuts, dark chocolate chips)

apple slices with peanut butter

cheese sticks

For more real food recipes, check out our Recipe Index or our Freezer Meals post.

Since I’m up in the middle of the night with a newborn, I have a lot of time to poke around the Internet. Here are some videos that had me laughing out loud at 3 a.m. I thought they were worth passing along.

This one was particularly funny to me because my toddler is in a stage where she does this. My response sometime isn’t all that different.

Guest post by Wendy  from Following in His Footsteps

This recipe came about recently after I found a Loaded Baked Potato Salad on Pinterest and made it for my family. We enjoyed it so much that we began brainstorming ideas for other potato salads we could make. With summer right around the corner, I think this is a great idea! My son suggested that we could perhaps create a sweet potato salad, and this delicious concoction of sweet potatoes, pecans, orange juice, and brown sugar was born! I do hope you will enjoy it as much as we did.

Roasted Sweet Potato & Pecan Salad with Brown Sugar & Orange Juice Dressing

Ingredients:

3 large sweet potatoes or about 3 lbs.

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup orange juice

2 tbsp. olive oil

Instructions for Potatoes:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Peel sweet potatoes and dice into cubes about 1-2 inches square.

3. Arrange sweet potatoes evenly on baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil.

4. Stir with spatula to coat and be sure the potatoes are spread evenly again. Place baking sheet in oven.

5. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until potatoes are just done. Add pecans, stir, and set aside.

Instructions for Dressing:

1. Heat orange juice until hot.

2. Add brown sugar and stir until dissolved.

3. Pour mixture carefully over salad, until distributed evenly. Do not add all of the dressing or the salad will be too moist! Feel free to make the dressing available when serving for anyone who may prefer to add more before enjoying the dish.

4. Enjoy with a crisp salad and a grilled chicken breast. Delish!

Wendy is a homeschooling mama to five who loves to encourage others along the homeschooling journey. She also considers herself a ‘foodie’ and is always ready to try a new recipe in the kitchen. You will find Wendy writing about homeschooling, food, and other life events on her blog, Following in His Footsteps. She has also recently begun a new venture with Southern Test Kitchen. Wendy is a brand new allergy-friendly recipes contributor over at Managing Your Blessings, so be sure to look for her recipes in the coming months! Be sure to visit and connect with her on Facebook and Twitter, too!

This post comes from my good friend, Sara. After reading it on her blog, Sara J. Writes, I immediately texted her and asked if I could share it. I hope you find Sara’s honesty and humor as refreshing as I do.

 Growing Pains

When I was little I would get these terrible pains in my legs.  They would come at night and for weeks at a time.  Our doctor assured us that the pains were simple growing pains, a common by product of a growing body.  My mom and dad spent many evenings rubbing my legs with Aspercreme and reassuring me that all was okay.  Growing pains, if you’ve never experienced them, are dull aches that typically reside in the legs.  They are not crippling but they are just painful enough to keep you awake, make it difficult to walk and give you a nagging concern in the back of your mind.  The pain is completely normal and necessary for the few who experience growing pains.

I’d say the last six month or so I’ve been experiencing adult growing pains.  They’ve come as a by product of parenting a lovely, strong-willed, beautiful, little girl.  Since this is our first attempt at parenting I really don’t know if all kids are like Lakin or if we’re being broken in for the siblings to come.  A two-year old is hard.  Like, make you face your sin in a whole new way, kind of hard.

I want to be the parent who always responds with empathy and patience.  I want to have realistic expectations and exercise loving authority but often times I feel I’m bumbling through parenthood, eyes squeezed tight, mouth clenched and fingers crossed that I’m making decisions the best I can.  There’s no playbook for those interesting and difficult moments we face with our children.  I have no idea how far to push and when to give a little.  I just pray that my words are honorable and in step with the Spirit.

I am growing up.  I’m dealing with my impatience, my judgment, my anger, all the people-pleasing tendencies I possess and I’m learning to let go of those things and embrace a little Jesus provided grace.  My wisdom comes from Him.  Even though I’ve been known to Google things like “toddler mood disorders” and “how to do timeout effectively.”

You know, sometimes your kid’s a crab face.  They don’t feel like being grateful and generous and loving toward their neighbor.  They whine through Target and then act surprised and CRAZY when they don’t get a kid’s cookie in the bakery.  Sometimes they snatch up a toy from their baby brother and scream, “That’s mine!”  Sometimes they look you in the eye and pee on your kitchen floor.  It’s embarrassing and you kind of want to find a hole and crawl in.  You think to yourself, it’s a good thing we’re related because you’d be on my play date blacklist right now otherwise.   But at the end of the day they can make you melt with their slobbery good night kiss and retelling of every single detail of their day with a tiny, toddler lisp for added adorableness.

So I guess the cute stories have slowed down on the blog because sometimes I forget the cute moments and focus on the moments when my toddler unbuckled herself in a moving vehicle or threw herself in hysterics at Bible Study.  But it’s all part of life, part of growing up, part of learning how it works.  We all need grace, for every moment of the day.  So I’m thankful for the pains of growing up as I figure out how to raise a human to be decent and loving and kind.  I think it’s a normal part of the process.  In fact, maybe the pain is my reminder that I can’t do this by my own strength, to remind me to look to Him to carry me through each moment.

Oh, parenthood.  You crazy.

I can’t believe it’s already been three weeks since our little man, Tyler was born. (Check out my birth story here). I can honestly say that having kids is WAY easier the second time around. At least that has been my experience so far.

Despite some long nights, our transition from one kid to two has gone very smoothly. This kid is chill. He’s a good sleeper and a good eater. There isn’t much more a mom can ask for from a newborn. I’m just loving him to death.

Big sister has actually handled the new addition like a champ. She only gets really upset when he cries. She’s always been a sympathy crier but I don’t find as cute anymore when I’ve got two crying kids every time I change Tyler’s diaper.

I digress… Tyler is a super great baby. This picture is an accurate representation of his temperament so far.

A while back I wrote a post about baby gear in which I highlighted things that I’ve found to be necessary (and unnecessary). Now that I’m two weeks in with a newborn, I wanted to highlight a few things that I am loving. Some things are more helpful this time around too.

Newborn Gear I’m Loving

Swaddleme Sleep Sacks

My little guy likes to be swaddled. Most babies do. I have found these sleep sacks to be a great way to keep them snug as a bug at night and during naps. I never really mastered the art of swaddling with blankets because I got spoiled by these guys. They are light weight but warm enough to not need any extra blankets. My little dude is snoozing in his sleep sack as I write this right now!

Aden and Anias Blankets

Gosh, I love these blankets. They are especially fabulous if you have a baby in the spring or summer. With a toddler, we are outside a lot so baby boy has to take some naps outside. With these blankets, I can swaddle him but he doesn’t get too hot. They are really big too so they can be used and wrapped in a lot of different ways. I also love their designs. Here is a picture of my little man snoozing wrapped up in one of these blankets.

Bamboobies

I know, hilarious name right?

If you can get over the fact that you are buying something called “Bamboobies” you will probably grow to like these as much as I do. Especially in the beginning when things are a bit sore. If you haven’t figured it out, these are reusable breast pads. I love how soft and flat they feel and fit. My only complaint is that I don’t have more. If they get wet, they need to be swapped out and any new mama knows this happens a lot in the beginning. So yes, I love them but I wish I had enough to get me through a few days without washing them.

Sleep Gowns

We’ve named these our “man-gowns” in an effort to make little Tyler feel better about wearing one.

Sleep gowns have always looked a little goofy to me but once you have been up a few nights in a row changing diapers in the dark, you grow to appreciate these bad boys. I love that you don’t have to fumble around with buttons or zippers at night. I also love that they keep the top half of the baby warm during changes. Newborns hate being undressed and will let you know about it so the less undressing I have to do, the better. We have a stash of these that we are getting a lot of use out of.

Medela Manual Breast Pump

For some reason, I hardly used this pump with my 1st kiddo but I have found it to be great to have now that I have two. More and more I am having to pump on the go. It’s really handy to have this guy to throw in the diaper bag rather than packing the double pump and all its parts. It’s easy to use, assembles easily, and is great for the busy mom.

There are quite a few other things I am using like crazy but I just wanted to highlight the things that I felt deserved a little more attention and I’ve been thankful for in these past two weeks.

All of these items and more can be found in our store. Bounce on over there and check out the other products and books we personally recommend.

The following post is written by my friend, Ashley. Below, Ashely boldly shares her story of loss with us but also provides some very practical ways to help someone who might be grieving. You may not necessarily need these suggestions at this moment but it is something you want to have on hand in the future. 

My Story

In the summer of 2009 my mom was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma of the lung. Unfortunately, they found it first by way of some eye problems she was having. The cancer had spread throughout her body and a tumor in her brain was affecting her eye. Stage 4 cancer is a pretty brutal diagnosis and all the sources I consulted gave her about 6 months to live. My mom fought valiantly for nearly 2 years before a sharp and quick decline resulted in her death shortly after her 50th birthday.

Before I move on, let me just share with you a few pictures of my mom. I wish I had one of the two of us, but our picture filing system on my husband’s computer is non-existent. It took me about an hour to just locate these!

Here is my mom a few years before she was diagnosed. 

Here she is about a year after her diagnosis. It’s a good looking wig, right?

In the year and a half since my mom’s passing I have heard from and connected with other women who have unfortunately experienced a similar tragedy. In my experience, I have found, especially with younger people, friends often aren’t sure how to care for people in these situations. Most have yet to experience a loss of this magnitude and are unsure of what the grieving friend may need.

Every person processes grief differently. These suggestions come out of my personal experience on how I was best served or would have found helpful in the months following my mom’s passing. Hopefully they can help you care and help a friend if they were to ever face a similar situation

Practical Ways to Help a Grieving Friend

The Month or Two After:

• Take meals. For an entire month we had friends graciously bring us 2-3 meals per week. We also received some gift cards to restaurants. The time and money we saved that month were a huge blessing. It helped take the burden of unexpected travel expenses and a shortage of energy off of me. At the time, my husband was in an incredibly demanding part of his career and working 80+ hours a week, so this was a huge blessing as it also brought me company a few nights each week.

• Offer to clean or babysit. I’ll be honest and say that I think most people don’t say yes to letting someone else clean their house, but depending on the circumstances, they very well might. If the person has children, offer to watch them for a while. Even if it is just to allow the person a chance to take a walk or go grab a coffee, it will mean a lot to them. My daughter was a year old when my mom passed, and the needs of a walking 1-year-old don’t leave much time for thinking or processing tough emotions.

• Come over to chat, and be open to them talking about it or not. Sometimes I was really looking to process my grief out loud, especially a few weeks afterward. However, sometimes I just wanted to be a normal human being again and talk about anything but death and my feelings.

• Invite them out to do something where there is no pressure to talk (a movie, a group dinner, etc).

Several Months Later:

• Check in with them. For the most part, other people don’t have it on their mind anymore but your friend is probably still struggling, at least from time to time, especially on important days (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays). My mom’s birthday is one of the hardest/best days for me. Last year I had a little party to celebrate moms, friendship, and life, and it was great for me. But other days are hard too. Christmas was my mom’s favorite holiday and my birthday right before my mom passed was when I first started to notice her mind getting a bit jumbled. Little memories like that can be hard.

• Pray for them. Again, most people aren’t thinking about your friend’s grief anymore, so support them in prayer and look for signs they might want to talk about their parent.

• Ask your friend if they want to work through a book on grief, or study some scripture about death, resurrection, or grieving. You don’t have to be an expert to do this, just offer to learn about how we are called to grieve as Christians together.

Beyond:

• The anniversary of a parent’s death is a hard thing to forget. A simple text, card, or phone call on that day means a lot.

• Continue to be sensitive to the void in your friend’s life, and take cues from them on what’s appropriate. My husband had a bad moment about 4 months after mom passed by making a “your  mom” joke. Thankfully I am used to ill-timed jokes from him and knew he didn’t mean any harm. And just the other day a coworker said something about how my husband needs a mother-in-law to spoil him (clearly referencing her husband being spoiled by her mom), and I jokingly mentioned my husband didn’t have one. She felt bad, but I wasn’t hurt by it so we moved on easily.

When in doubt, pray for your friend and let them know you are doing so. That might be just the comfort they need or even the opening to tell you if it is heavy on their heart. I would often avoid talking about my mom but if it was brought up by someone else, I would get pretty emotional.

Helpful Verses

There is a lot the Bible has to say about grieving and lots of verses of comfort. Here are some you might consider sending to a friend or praying for a friend who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 55:22 – Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

Matthew 5:4 – Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matthew 11:25-30 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

John 14:1-4 – Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Ashely, and using your painful experience to help equip others. I hope many people will benefit from your wisdom.