Aging Is Finally Catching Up With Me (Mind If I Process It With You For a Moment?)

By Rachel Tiemeyer

My husband and I recorded the Grammy’s a few weeks ago and skipped around through them after the kids went to bed. It’s not as if the people on camera that night were any different than so many others on television. But for some reason, as I scanned the fake breasts and lips, facelifts, and revealing outfits of the Hollywood elite, I admit I grew more and more judgmental toward the absurdity I saw in them and our culture. Or was it jealousy over their perfect bodies? Or was it anger over our human struggle against aging? 

Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 2.29.57 PMI’m 37 and officially a mid-lifer I guess. The summers of sunbathing have caught up with me and are revealing itself in wrinkles that make-up can’t hide anymore. Three pregnancies now have resulted in some lovely blue and purple veins bursting forth on my once bronzed legs. The years of nursing three children has left my chest…errr…we won’t go there. Aging has caught up. And I find myself trying to simultaneously swim upstream of our culture–by trusting that God looks at and cares more about the heart than outward appearances—while also entertaining and sometimes embracing the cultural air we breath. 

Here’s the thing. I think I’m actually a lot more like those people on TV than I care to admit. Daily I struggle with all the thoughts that probably have led many of them to alter their bodies as they age. “Gah, my hips look so big.” “What am I going to do about this gray hair?” “These wrinkles are wretched.” “How am I supposed to compare to all those women at the pool who have gotten plastic surgery?” I so get it. I want to look young again too. 

What is it that we hate so much about aging? Admittedly, there is much to be written on the subject. But, speaking from my own personal experience, I realize that a good portion of my self worth growing up and through my 20s and 30s has been tied to how I look. Sadly, I never thought of a day that I wouldn’t be potentially admired by others for my youthfulness or beauty (not that I’m the most beautiful woman by any stretch, but you know what I mean, right?). Even putting that into writing sounds so—to borrow a term I used earlier—absurd. That twisted desire is my own sinful heart not wanting what is most important in all eternity, not clearly seeing what clearly counts. But, it also doesn’t help that the very air we breath and the idols of our American culture are youth, beauty, and sex. It’s just too easy to become part of the happy crowd, flippantly laughing and living and cutting ourselves up and killing parts of our soul in the face of aging.

Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 2.38.27 PMSo what about this? What if instead of bringing sexy back, as the catchy Justin Timberlake song goes, we brought aging back? What if we thought about wrinkles and stretch marks and sagging breasts and varicose veins as victory marks instead of death wounds? What if the extra pounds reminded us of the gift of food and good meals around the table with family and friends? What if stretch marks pointed us to the blessing that our children are? What if wrinkles were celebrated as reminders of all the “can’t catch my breath” laughs, as well as, those moments of sorrow shared with those we love most? 

This, too: What if we began complimenting our children and friends not so much on how they look but on what we see in them that really lasts? What if we personally combated the constant stream of cultural lies with something that God says is much more satisfying—Himself and His promises?

Look, I’m in process. Honestly, I’m probably going to try my hardest to cover my wrinkles with make-up, dye my hair until a skunk line makes it impossible, and exercise to try to stay thin until my joints wear out. I might even bump into you at the vein doctor’s office. But, as I’ve gained a small bit of wisdom over the years, I see that the dividing line of whether what I do to my aging body is right or wrong runs down the middle of my own heart. Where am I finding my self worth? Can I be happy even without changing my appearance? What am I desiring most? Who am I loving most? I want to shift my heart’s focus more and more away from me and how I look. I want to embrace aging. And most of all, I want to see my aging body through a different set of eyes—the only ones that matter.

Your turn. What are your thoughts on aging?

P.S. Here’s a practical idea: Grab a pack of our printable verse cards and place them around the house or at work to help remember God’s promises all day long. Read more about each one by clicking the images below:
Truths for Trials image for storeencouraging Bible verse cards just for moms


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6 replies
  1. Crystal says:

    I’m struggling with this too as 40 is just a few months away. However, what I have learned is that even though I was skinnier when I was 20 (to a point I look I would say now almost anorexic looking), I never had the confidence to go with that body anyway. I feel way more beautiful at 39 and 8 months then I ever did at 20. I work out every day for an hour, to yes, keep my body the way it is, but also because I had children late in life and I will have a 12 year old at 50 and I need to be there for her then and my body is going to help me continue to be an active parent now and then. I have tried various creams and have fallen in love with Beauty Counter – I think my skin looks better now because I have a routine not necessarily a product line 🙂 I had this moment post baby, where we took the newborn photos and I never printed them because I thought I was fat (gained 45 lbs with my 2nd) and it took me a year and half to look back at that photo and realize “wow, this is gorgeous..I’m holding my 7 day old child and kissing her head.. never will I have that moment again” it makes me cry every time I think about it because I can’t believe I ever thought that photo wasn’t beautiful. Age with Grace. Even my husband’s crows feet I find more attractive now than ever.. he laughs so much, I love that he has those~

  2. Laura says:

    Wow, thank you for writing this Rachel! Just what I needed to hear… not only for myself but keeping my heart focused on how I want to raise my daughter. You are wise beyond your years, I am VERY thankful for you.

    • Rachel says:

      You are too kind, Laura. I think I’m just surrounded by people who are wise beyond their years who help me occasionally have a thought like this to share. 🙂

  3. Candace says:

    Yes, yes, yes! This is a daily struggle for me and I’m sure most other women. 1 Samuel 16:7 has been on my bathroom mirror for years for this very reason. God tells Samuel that the man with the great outside appearance has been rejected because his heart is sick. God cares more about our hearts than our looks and the day we stand before him, that is what we will be judged for. It’s a great reminder to remember the eternal perspective. That being said, this is such a struggle and I’m so thankful for your honesty!

    • Rachel says:

      So true, Candace. It’s weird to be told over and over again throughout every day of our lives–via magazines, internet, commercials/ads, shows, and other people–that the opposite is true, isn’t it? I’m glad we can all fight the good fight together and remind each other of what really counts (hopefully again and again and again).

  4. Linda says:

    Great writing Rachel. I don’t know a woman that doesn’t struggle with these things.
    But looking to what God says about the heart is something we have to keep reminding ourselves.
    I’m just as guilty about the outward appearance thing.
    Maybe finding a balance is what we all need.