A Third Kid is Like…

By Polly Conner
August 15, 2016

“So, how is life with three kids?” is a common question I’ve been getting these days.

It’s such an innocent question that I can answer in one sentence or in three hours.

And, as with most things in the realm of parenting, one’s experience is entirely dependent on the existing family dynamics. So much of the transition is affected by the state of your marriage, the ages and temperaments of the older kids, the external factors (work, extended family’s availability, etc.), and the health of your spiritual life. So, when someone asks me how it is having a third kid, I speak entirely out of my experience when I say it is a wonderful crazy.

Having a Third Kid is Like:

Realizing it’s an act of God if you are able to get all the kids to bed by yourself.

Being totally over the embarrassment of a crying child in public. Totally over it.

Wondering how the heck a babysitter is going to juggle all three when you can barely do it yourself. It’s leaving the house and saying a prayer for them and promising them they have done their job if all three are alive when you get home.

Needing help. From everyone.

Operating as a team more than ever. There has to be constant verbal communication between team husband and wife or team parent will quickly go under.

Nursing or pumping in places you never thought you would.

Being OK with the baby not being on a routine or schedule. All you need from them is to just go with it.IMG_6828

Being tired. All the time. But being too busy to notice unless you sit still for more than 5 minutes. By that time you are dozing off.

Embracing that it is nearly impossible to leave the house without some sort of spill, stain, or kid fluid on your clothes.

Realizing that there will always be one kid in a funk, bad mood, or tough stage.

Lumping together the older two as one package deal. The baby is doing his own dang thing.

Baby wearing. All the time.

Finding fresh joy as you see the older siblings dote over the new baby.

Never sitting through an entire meal. Never.

Having a deep appreciation for running errands without any kids.

Having an equally deep appreciation for businesses with drive-throughs or delivery.

Losing shoes and socks. All the time.

Soaking up and enjoying the baby stage more than ever because you know how fast it goes.IMG_6873

Being thrown into a time warp because the baby is wearing one of the older siblings clothes.

Mixing up the kids names. All the time. Even calling them the dog’s name sometimes.

Breaking the baby “rules” more than you ever thought you would.

Staying up later than you should because it’s your only kid-free time with your husband.

Having a small (but very quiet) celebration when all three are asleep at the same time. IMG_6826

Nobody offering you baby advice anymore.

Being OK with the baby not doing what “they should.” Because you know they will eventually work it out.

Realizing it’s been months since you’ve spent any kid-free time with a friend.

Delighting in the ways they are similar and different than their older siblings.IMG_3518-2

Very. Loud. Car rides.

Realizing you are more capable than you ever thought you were.

Your potty-trained child decides to revert for a while. You know it’s normal but it is more annoying than anything.

Letting kids get away with WAY more than you ever thought they would because you simply don’t have time to fight the battle.IMG_6861

Letting your standard of clean slide a bit further down the scale. You can only do so much.

Loving the excuse to go nurse because it’s your only quiet time with the baby.

Napping through the night.

Not feeling bad about not playing or talking to the baby because there is so much stimulation going on around him. And kids in his face. And grabbing his hands. And sucking his toes. Gross.

Having a quick, sinking feeling when you question whether you forgot a kid somewhere.

Being OK with your preschool son peeing outside. A lot. I’m pretty sure the majority of our neighbors have seen him in all his glory more than once.

Lastly, having a third kid is realizing how incomplete your family was before they became part of it. You can’t imagine life without him and he quickly is part of your new, wonderful, crazy normal. IMG_6581

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8 replies
  1. Jenn @ Blessed and Busy says:

    Love reading this post and the previous comments. I had a very rough transition from one child to two. Let’s face it, our whole family did. I recently shared my own thoughts on my blog about it and how just because I have two GIRLS does not mean I HAVE to try again for a boy. If I want a third child, it’s because God has put that desire there and my husband and I have agreed our family is not yet complete. For now, we are content with our two and four year old and all the crazy shenanigans they put us through! Thanks for sharing, I love learning from other mommas, especially those with more children than me, to know that it can be done, should we pursue a larger family.

  2. Laura says:

    I love your realistic attitude and honesty!! I DO remember (all but the outside bathroom habit) those things and still live by many of them. As a mom of 10 (+ a nephew that became a permanent part of our family 2 years ago) with 7 still at home – ages 18 to 2, I say “Love them and be brave enough to have another one!!” Number 3 was my HARDEST transition and 4 was a breeze compared to 3. You learn to snuggle more and eliminate things that are really not that important. Keep up the great work and I hope you go for 4!!!

  3. Ashley P. says:

    Polly, this is so be beautiful and realistic at the same time. Thank you for sharing your honest perspective 🙂 God bless you and your precious babes!

    • Polly says:

      I love that phrase, “beautiful and realistic.” That’s kind of how I hope to portray motherhood so glad it came across that way, Ashley. Thanks for taking the time to comment!